I wake up in a little less than six hours. I would like to be attempting to sleep by now. You ever hear that voice in your own head, telling God “he’s got the wrong guy”? I have been hearing that voice..for years. I’m imperfect and I am constantly plagued by doubts and always changing directions. It is a weird idea to be thinking Hey..God you’ve got the wrong guy. I am not this guy. When you think about it, it is one of the silliest things in the world. You’re talking to God -acknowledging that He is God- telling Him that he doesn’t know what he is doing.
I have thought about going to seminary every year for years. I’ve signed up for classes twice! And withdrew twice because I felt like I wasn’t the right guy or I convinced myself I wouldn’t learn anything anyway(we’re going to have to talk about pride one day). This human trafficking thing? It isn’t in my comfort zone. It eats away at me. I tell God daily I am not the right person for this. I feel sort of like I’m being asked to go to Nineveh. We know how that story ends right? Jonah gets thrown into a whale –the last place on earth Jonah wanted to be, it was worse than Nineveh- and still ended up in Nineveh anyway. My point is, you can delay but eventually you’re going to Nineveh.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
God has our plans set and even if we can’t see how this will work out. It will. The power behind us will always be more than enough. My Nineveh is speaking out. I don’t like drawing attention to myself and I dread speaking in public. So where has God led me? To be an ambassador for hope speaking out publicly for trafficking victims. I am terrified of doing that first presentation (I’m still waiting on the badge/shirt/presentation material from shared hope. I am planning to try and tackle a school first, the younger generation needs the awareness more than anyone). When I get up on that stage or whatever the setting will be though, I will not be alone just like Jonah wasn’t alone in Nineveh.
Anyways, I am working on a few new projects for my anti-trafficking efforts. I’ve had this one idea for a while but I am having some problems getting the web-hosting company I paid to host the website. My idea for the website is to create a forum where people can connect in the trafficking world. A place where news stories can be sorted by the state/country etc. Where trafficking papers/books can be linked commented and reviewed. That way people can learn more about the problems locally and it gives college students/interested parties/new activists a place to come easily do research on the subject, share ideas, and get help if they’re stuck on something. As far as I have been able to find nothing like that exists and more importantly I have found it really hard to just find a list documenting the various NGO’s and charity organizations involved in the field. I feel like a comprehensive place for information could work wonders for people that are trying to learn what it is all about.
Project two is sort of a grass roots effort. I’m designing a flyer that I am going to try and get put up anywhere I can find and I also did a set of business cards that are really more like crash courses in trafficking. My plan behind those is to get them into those jars where you can drop business cards, stash them in geocashes (I haven’t personally done any geocashing but I’ve decided it would be really fun and I’m planning to start). I feel like project two is really more important that project one even though it should naturally be the other way. The biggest issue in trafficking is too many people are unaware of how far its spread. Movements start in the grassroots arena.